Kids are indeed a blessing for many couples, but they also change the relationship you have with your partner. You might have an ideal relationship and be the most adventurous and fun couple, but with kids in the equation, it is inevitable for things to change. It is natural for your kids to become your first priority and shift all your attention toward them – but subsiding your partner and the relationship you share with them is not healthy.
While taking care of their kids, people usually struggle with maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with their significant other. And this takes a toll on your bond as well as mental health. Hence, it is essential to keep the two relationships side by side and give equal time and attention.
If you are new parents and feel like the spark is dying out, this article is for you. Jonah Engler realizes a lot of couples fail to maintain a healthy relationship with each other after having kids, because of which their romantic bond suffers. Hence, here are three tips for maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner after having kids.
Jonah Engler: 3 Tips to Maintain a Healthy Bond with Your Partner after Having Kids
1. Plan Maximum Date Nights
One thing that couples forget to do after having kids is going on dates. Just because you have a child now doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy the same things back when it was just the two of you. When two people stop making an effort to spend quality time with the other, the relationship often goes sour.
Take help from grandparents and friends, or hire a nanny for a night, but take your partner out on a date. It is important to dress up, step out of the house, and breathe some fresh air after spending days and nights cramped in the bedroom listening to your baby cry. Don’t forget dates are a well-deserved break for you and your partner – so as Jonah Engler says, don’t feel guilty and give each other sometime.
2. Divide the Chores
Having a kid almost doubles your responsibilities – especially when you have a newborn or a toddler, you rarely get a break. This becomes especially difficult for new moms who are already going through hormonal changes and are physically drained.
Make mundane tasks fun by splitting the chores or doing them together. Folding clean laundry together could be a lot less boring if you and your partner do it together. Husbands might think their wife is on a maternity break while they are out earning – but trust us when we say this, life at home is hardly a break. House chores can really take a mental toll on your wife, and you must step in to help.
3. Don’t Ditch the Sex
No matter what someone tells you, sex is essential for any couple, and you cannot ditch it for anything. Couples get too engrossed in raising their child that sex takes a back seat, which takes a toll on their relationship. Don’t forget sexual frustration can be very harmful to you and the bond that you share with your partner. Hence, Jonah Engler says you must take out time for each other and don’t ditch sex – this is the one thing that can keep you close.
There is no harm in making your kids a priority in your life, but it is important to understand that only parents with a healthy relationship can raise happy kids. Hence, you need to maintain a healthy bond with your partner, for each other, as well as for your kids!